I feel like I've wasted all of my life
majority of feelings are heartaches & strife
will I ever become a better person
or continue on with fighting and cursing
My heart has turned cold and stoney
everyone I meet is always phoney
how can I ever trust and believe
My heart and my mind is often deceived.
Broken hearts and promises not kept
So many times I have wept
A darkness consumes my entire being
somethings I try to keep others from seeing
You don't know I must confess
the things within that I possess
everything isn't what it seems to be
I am hiding the real true me
I can't be found I'm truly lost
I've done so much at different cost
I am stuck within a maze
It's lasted for years it's not a phase
I am insane I have come to know
for of my past I can not let go
I've tried and tried to turn to religion
setting myself up for a head on collision
The secrets creep back into my head
It's mysteriously amazing I'm not dead
I can't let anyone in
If I do they may see my sin.
The only thing real stems from pain
I have nothing left to gain
I am broken that's for sure
and I'm certain there's no cure
It's imperative can't you see
You don't want a part of the girl in me
An appalling darkness controls my fate
there is nothing left but hate.
The hate is for myself only
It leaves me broken, sad and lonely
addiction has warped my very mind
and left me feeling honestly blind.
